Whiskey Not So Neat

For about a month I was super excited to attend my first every whiskey tasting which was held at Monk's Cafe this past Tuesday night. Monk's is a good place -- even if I don't care a thing about whether or not my beer is hoppy, and IPA, blah, blah, blah. I wish I had a picture of the waitress' face when I said, "Just give me whatever you have that's like Miller High Life."

Anywho, everything I've ever heard about any kind of tasting before sounded great. You get to sample a product, laugh with the people you're with, and maybe mingle with some other interesting people. Unwittingly, we walked into a Star Trek Convention for whiskey drinkers. Out of about 40 people, my group of 7 were the only ones who never had been to a whiskey tasting. Our collective experience was limited to doing shots of Jack, Jameson, Makers, etc. Needless to say, "those" brand hand no place here since they were not part of the featured item of the night: single malt scotch whiskeys.

Every person there was SUPER serious about the tasting and just loved listening to our host talk for 15 minutes about each drink while you had to listen silently. No joking, no cheersing, nothing. It was like a bad dream -- having drinks with your friends...in the library. Well, there was that one time we were drunk and ran through the library while drinking after Cuse made it to the Final Four -- but I digress....

The event was the most counterintuitive drinking experience of my life. The more we drank, the quieter we had to be, which was very hard since the 2nd of 8 tastings was already 111 proof! Our host would also throw out some of the following gems that we obnoxiously laughed at under our breath and NO ONE else did:

- "I expect to taste a lot of nutty in this one."

- "If my body was Scotland, the lowlands are here..." as he kept gesturing to his penis.

- "Never mix and 18 year old and a 35 year old."

- "I taste light coffee flavors, a little sea, and some brine." oh good...cause those things go together soooo well.

- And the winner of the night: "Most people these days try to make sure the bung hole is accessible."

It was worth it for these unintended puns and of course for the great company. For the next tasting, I'm just having people over with a bunch of glasses and a big ole bottle of Mr. Daniels.