Tuesday, September 27, 2011

AXB's Speech to the SJP Mothers

Haven't posted in forever, but thought I'd share a wonderful speech by Tony Braithwaite (SJP '89) delivered Sunday, September 25th at the St. Joseph's Prep Mother-Son Communion Breakfast:



                  "Thank you very much.  I am really honored to have been asked to speak to you today, and so a big thank you to the wonderful Prep Mothers’ Club who set all this up.  Specific shout outs to Ceal Biello, Melissa McGrath, Judy Centrella, and Ellen Giangiordano.  I have always been a huge fan of the Prep Mothers’ Club.  My own dear departed mother was a member of the Mothers’ Club, my sister is a member.  It’s a wonderful organization.  I would even consider joining the Prep Mothers’ Club myself, but I’m pretty sure  don’t meet the one big qualification.
            Before I get to the bulk of my speech today, I want to take a second to advertise The Big Bang again…  (3 people applaud)  ..a show which apparently 3 people saw.  It’s 70 minutes long, it’s hysterical, and it’s at The Kimmel Center thru Halloween.  I sure hope you can all come.  Taking no chances, I also brought in flyers that are on the tables in front of you with all the information you’ll need to buy tickets.  I also have some tickets on me right now and I can even make exact change. 
            …also, Father Maivelett: pay close attention cause I may be getting you up to answer questions about my speech just like you did to us during your homily today…
But I digress.
I thought I’d open today with a story from my very first day of Freshman year.  A story that my own dear mom always thought was pretty funny.  On the first day of classes of my Freshman year in 1985 – I was in Homeroom 1A, we were the honors section, the nerds – the air conditioning was broken in the building.  It was sweltering.  We all sat waiting quietly in room 101 for classes to begin, sitting there with our hands folded, me and all these other 30 little guys, all in identical blue blazers and khaki pants.  First period bell rang, and in walked our English teacher, though we didn’t yet know who she was, it was the first day, they didn’t mail schedules home in those days.  We didn’t know she was our English teacher.  We would come to get to know and love her – she’s no longer here, but she was a great teacher – but that first day we had never seen her before.  We just knew that a women in her twenties walked into a room.  And the other thing we all sort of knew was, well, that she was…strikingly beautiful.  She did not introduce herself immediately.  In fact because of the broken air conditioning, her first words to us were these: “Oh wow, I am just so hot.”  And I remember sitting there thinking to myself: well who am I to disagree with that.
That was my first day.  And that was the fall of 1985.  I then spent 4 years here as a student, I worked here during the summers in college, and I returned to teach here 17 years ago.  I had been living a miserable existence as an actor in Los Angeles.  Suffering thru a ton of rejection, and a series of near misses, including coming this close to landing the part of Chandler on the tv Friends….  (Crowd sighs: awww)  …I know how ya feel.  A teaching position opened up at the Prep and I applied, got it, and came back to Philly.  I was hired to teach 6 sections of Freshmen Religion and Sexual Education.  I was very careful on my first day not to say, “Oh wow I am just so hot.”
The man who hired me to teach was then Prep Principal Father Herb Keller, now the President of Scranton Prep.  In addition to teaching, Father Keller handed me the reins of the Cape and Sword Drama Society and he gave me a kind of Mission.  He wanted to make sure the plays here at the Prep were better than any other schools', so that kids would actually enjoy going to school plays, that they would be popular and competitive, and that students would find them actually enjoyable, and the comedies actually funny, which as we all know sadly doesn't really happen at many other places.  Father Keller wanted the theatre program here to be as strong as crew or football.  17 years later, I’m proud to say that I think it is.  Serving as Director of The Cape and Sword Drama Society for nearly two decades has truly been the joy of my life, and it’s a job I hope to have until the day that I die.  Which is good, because I applied to be the Principal at this new Cristo Rey School in Olney and they turned me down.  I don’t know who they got instead.  I hear it’s some guy from Beyonne.
            I feel incredibly lucky because I love what I do for a living, I really do.  And that in large part comes from my own mother, Sally.  We lost Mom - too young - a few years ago and I wrote a show about her called, “Look Mom I’m Swell.”  Swell was her favorite word.  In the show I tell a story about how I was a misfit kid who wasn’t good at sports, and was bookish and dorky, and all that stuff (real hard to imagine, I know) and how she helped me be me.  I really suffered thru childhood, always feeling like an outsider.  And then I came to the Prep.  And things started to become different.  I remember I came home from the first day of Freshmen Orientation and taught my Mom the Prep Fight Song that the Seniors they had taught us that day.  I can vividly remember my mom singing the Fight Song, and the corners of her eyes were moist.  She was sort of crying tears of joy, just a little bit, because she could tell – maternal instinct – that I had found happiness at St. Joe’s Prep.  All 700 of you wonderful moms here will have to forgive me when I tell you that I actually had the best mom of all time.  Ever.  And I think it was for one big reason.  Her main concern all thru my life was that I was happy, and that I was having fun.  That’s what she cared about.  More than anything, more than grades.  I don’t even remember her ever looking at my report cards!  We didn’t have Power School in those days (thank God!) but if we did I know for certain that my mom would have only checked if there were catagories marked Fun and Happy, and if I was doing well in those subjects she’d be content.  Above all, my mom wanted me to feel loved.  She was glad I came to the Prep, and found that love here.
             I know many of you feel the same way.  On back to school night a few years ago my sister Angie McAllister, sitting right here, hi Angie.  Angie told me that her favorite person was Sister Kate Woody, who had my nephew for Religion.  And that was because Kate Woody said to all the parents at mini school, in her demure Southern accent, “Ok look, here’s the course expectation form, and you can read that on your own if you want to, but I am going to talk about  what you really want to know.  Is my son ok?  Does he have enough time for lunch?  Does he know where the bathroom is?  What happens if he misses the bus,” etc.” Angie said those were her exact concerns: she saw that night Kate Woody got it, and that Kate was reassuring her that the boys would be cared for here.  They would be loved. 
            What I cherish about the Prep, why I have devote myself to this place, and why I brag about it now to you is because I believe this place is special.  And Kate Woody’s story is a great example of the many ways in which the Prep is not merely concerned with your kids getting good grades.  We want your sons to belong.  We want them to be loved.
            A few decades ago, Pedro Arrupe, the Superior General of the Jesuits, said that Jesuit Schools had gotten the education thing down, they did that well, they got that, and that was great, but that there was truly a bigger concern.  That the new charge was to delve into richer, more profound formation, the formation of the spirit of the young men in our charge.  Jesuit Schools need to form Men for Others.  As we say here today, Men for and With Others. 
            Its one of the things that makes the Prep special.  And I do believe the Prep is special.  But I also believe, and I’ve thought a lot about this, that St. Joe’s Prep is better now than it ever has been.  I really believe this.  I was even here as a student when the Kairos Retreat was first introduced, and that was utterly amazing.  And I thought that era couldn’t be topped.  Long term Faculty member Earl Hart said at the time Kairos was the best addition to the Prep ever.  But I went on Kairos last spring with the current Seniors and it was richer and more impactful than it even had been.  The Mission of the Prep has simply never been more fully animated here on a day to day basis than it is right now.  There are currently Ignatian evenings for parents, there are more service opportunities than at any time in the Prep’s distinguished history.  In my little corner of the world in Prep Drama – we currently involve 10% of the student body in the various programs that the adminstration has asked us to add in recent years.  The Prep’s added the Sophomore Conversation, and the Freshman Retreat.  The campus is bigger and better, the student body smarter, and the place is booming.  And the best part is that, in true Jesuit fashion, our President – our gentle, sweet natured, smart and humble Presdient - has instituted a new mantra for us amdist all these wonderful additions: Let’s Go Further Still.  In fact Father Bur ended a Faculty Meeting the other day with the motivating words: We can do anything!
Another reason I believe the Prep is at its best now is that so many of our sports teams are coached by men who, “get this place,” – men who realize the importance of character above all.  Men who see their sports as integrated to the mission of the school.  One specific story related to this.
            Our current head football Coach Gabe Infante came to see our production of The Producers last spring.  And he was so impressed by what he saw, that he wanted the whole team to see the show.  He tricked them into thinking they were coming in to an evening practive, but instead they attended one of our final performances.  And they loved it.  Let’s be clear – the entire football team cheered on the Drama kids at a play.  That that just doesn’t happen at other schools.
            Yes I truly believe that the Prep is better now than it ever was.  Now granted I wasn’t here from 1851 to 1984, but Mr. Griffin was and he assures me I’m right.
            One of the reasons that the Prep is in the good shape its in these days is of course our Principal, and my own dear friend, Mike Gomez.  A man who gets Jesuit education, in his bones, deep down, he lives it.  There will be plenty of opportunities to thank Mr. Gomez as we say goodbye this year, and thank God for that, but at this time let me just share with you my own strong concern regarding his departure.  No matter who gets the job, whoever it is, there is simply no way that new Principal will give us off for as many snow days as you have, Michael.  My God.  We were even closed for rain this year, people!  What’s next, no school due to too many falling leaves?  Days off for high pollen content?!  We get so many snow days from Mike that I am convinced he must have been trapped as a child in some icy tundra somewhere.  But nobody’s complaining.
Mike is one of the many reasons the Prep is in such solid shape, one of the many reasons that your sons are loved here.  I had the opportunity to speak to the Freshmen class the other night in the Gesu for their Retreat.  And I said the following words to them, words that were said to me, words that have been said time and again: “Yes, you have a great journey ahead.  An amazing, epic Prep journey.  But that doesn’t mean there won’t also be times of disappointment along the way.  Prep students are all used to being the best at their grade schools in sports, academics, and activities, and now all those bests are gathered here in one school.  As such: you won't get an A on every assignment, you won't pass every quiz, you won't make every team or get cast in every play; you won't win every race, make every tackle, score every goal.  You will feel awkward at times, and alone.  You'll probably do something stupid without thinking and maybe disappoint your parents.  You may try hard to be friends with someone and just not have that work.  You may face some hard times at home and even lose someone you love.  You may find yourself wondering is God really there.  In all of these situations, you will need help, friendship, love and support to sustain you on your Prep journey.  And you will find that love here.  For one, you have great company.  For instance, you have the friendship of your Prep brothers…

…in fact I was just thinking what a beautiful metaphor it was today when Father Maivelett asked the boys in Mass to stand and recite the Prayer for Generosity.  Just like the Prep, they started out all awkward and nervous.  When they started they were quiet and not really in sync with one another.  Then about half way thru they found their rythym together, became unified, and they ended loud and confident…

You also have the love of your your teachers (so many of whom are Prep grads themselves), the administrators, your Principal – this man, and this man (maivellett) and all the Jesuits, and most importantly you have the friendship and companionship of your God.  Which is a good thing, because God also went to the Prep. 
You will find that love here.  You belong here, you are not alone.
In his book, the history of St. Joseph’s Prep, Father James Gormley S.J. quotes a Freshman in 1976 as saying this: “I’ll admit that the Prep has its bad points, Jug and sophomores for example, but there’s one really special thing here.  I suppose that it’s a kind of feeling and it happens all the time, especially at a rally or something where everyone’s together.  They start –I mean we start – cheering and pouring forth our pride in knowing that we belong here.”
That was 1976.  And there was pride in knowing we belong here.  My own dear mother teared up in 1985 when she saw me first feel like I belonged here.  And here we are today, when the Prep is the best its ever been, and our goal is the same: for your sons to feel happy, and swell, for these guys to be men for and with others, to know that they belong here, and that they are loved. 
Thank you all so very much."